How To Make Friends As An Adult.

It’s important to acknowledge how vital friendships are, says Alistair Williams, a coach and founder of A Clear Path Ahead. 

“Psychologists talk of the importance of ‘relatedness’, ‘affiliation’ or ‘community’ as not only being at the heart of a contented life but also crucial to our physical and mental wellbeing.”

How to widen your circle:

1. Think about what you need from a friendship.

To help you streamline your search, think about what area of your life a new friend might fulfil. “It could be linked to a particular interest – whether foreign language films, a certain sport or trekking in the mountains,” says Williams.

“As our interests grow, we develop too and may find that we have nobody to share them with. Often it's simply around basic human connection – wanting someone to talk to, someone who is interested in you, as you are in them.”

2. Deepen your everyday conversations.

“If you find yourself regularly talking about work or other mundane topics with a colleague you could imagine being friends with, then consider deepening that conversation,” says Pippa Murphy, a relationship expert who also shares her insights with brands such as Condoms.uk.

“You can ask questions about what they do when they're not working, what hobbies they have, or even if they’ve watched anything interesting on TV recently. Once you find that non-work-related topic, you’ll find the conversation flowing much more easily."

Broadening your social circle is about deepening your everyday interactions.

3. Remember the law of attraction

Consider what vibes you’re giving off. 

“When you go into a social situation, you need to think about the law of attraction and try to create positive conversations when speaking to people."

“It’s also important to surround yourself with positive people – as it’s harder to get out of a negative mindset when everyone around you is self-denigrating.”

4. Consider where you’ll find like-minded people.

The key is to find common ground.

"Love foreign language films? Join a foreign language film club, and start a conversation about that film." Suggest Williams. 

"Love walking dogs? Get chatting to other dog-owners by asking questions about their pet – that shared focus will unite you.”

5. Branch out of your existing social circle.

It’s important not to let the expectations of your current friends affect your future friendship choices.

“As we get older we may already have a large circle of friends and we may wonder what they’d feel about this ‘new intruder’ into their circle."

“As an adult, you can imagine you’re not making a friend for yourself but also a friend for your group. But don’t let your assumptions about who your other friends would like put you off making a new friend.” 

This can be a refreshing chance to explore another side of yourself.

6. Look close to home – neighbours can be great allies.

“People often make friends with neighbours because the shared home environment gives you so much in common,” says Williams. “Your initial exchanges are the ones where you’ll be both consciously and subconsciously deciding whether you want to talk further.”

With no expectations, it can be liberating knowing you don’t need to be anyone other than who you really are. 

“This allows you to forge new friendships based on who you are now, rather than an outdated version of yourself that I hear many ‘people-pleasers’ talk about,” he adds.

Article By Emma Elms.

Image credit: Your Tango, Hindustan.

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